Ladies First: Inspiration Has No Gender

I am a sucker for a good rags-to-riches story, inspirational tales of the underdogs coming up on top against all odds, and especially when the rewards go to a deserving person. It is always good to be reminded that through determination, grit, and hard work, anyone can soar above the circumstances and achieve beyond their limits. It gives us hope of eventual triumph in our everyday garden-variety struggles. Coaching is all about inspiring action, helping others open up to new possibilities and supporting them as they seek to achieve success. It means that I must constantly look for the inspiration to become a better person, and a better coach. Over the years, I have learned to look for and find opportunities for inspiration all around me: in reading books and blogs, in watching movies, in motivational quotes, and in working with clients who inspire me on a daily basis. And this week, it was the Netflix sports documentary Ladies First.

The documentary tells the story of Deepika Kumari who was born into grinding poverty in Jharkhand, one of India’s poorest states. As a child she was scrounging around the fields in her village in search of food.  Archery was her ticket out to a better life. She worked and practiced incredibly hard, fighting tooth and nail to overcome her poor beginnings, and cultural odds, to become the best in her field. While her arrows go swift and far, her journey to elite world championships hasn’t been as straight as an arrow. It had many roadblocks, speed-bumps, and crossroads. Her first introduction to the sport that would go on to shape her life came at a young age using homemade bows and arrows and being creative in finding shooting targets in her rural surroundings. Despite her lack of training and poor physical conditioning, she talked her way into her first training academy, leaving home at the age of 12 to pursue a better future. With sheer determination, hard work, and willpower she became the number one archer in the world within four years. And yet, as a female athlete in India, she didn’t have adequate training and support to win an Olympic medal despite entering both the London Olympics in 2012 and the 2016 Rio Olympics as a top player. Fingers crossed that she’ll achieve her dream of being an Olympic gold medalist in Tokyo 2020.

But the true power of an inspirational story is to fuel the fire of enthusiasm in others, to motivate people to action. For me, it is about doing the deep dive into my life taking a closer look at where I am and asking myself truthfully whether there are areas in my life where I’d been selling myself short, playing small, instead of fighting to achieve all that I can. This is not about being frustrated with unreached goals; on the contrary, it’s all about appreciating all that life has given me but being inspired to do more and become more. It’s all too easy to get bogged down in the daily grind, managing responsibilities and life’s challenges – the “work & life load.” Finding inspiration can motivate us to keep progressing along the never-ending road to living a positive and meaningful life. Motivation and inspiration have no limits and no gender. We are all equally capable of exploring our own potential. So, when you come across an inspiring story remember to apply it inward to inspire your choices and actions.

But don’t just wait for inspiration, actively look for it and use it to push yourself into new areas. You don’t have to step out of your comfort zone, just to keep expanding it. Aspire to broaden your repertoire of ideas, choices, and actions to release your potential and fully use your talents, skills, and abilities. Don’t let circumstances and lack of resources limit your options. Find a way to creatively utilize all that you do have (the “homemade bows and arrows” in your arsenal) to pursue your goals and transform your life. I have discovered that this works best if I tackle one goal at a time. It is when I try to do too much, juggling too many balls in the air, that I start to lose momentum. When I stop trying to do everything, spending my energy all over the place, I find I can master most anything. The principle of success is focus. Start small, take baby steps, and build on small successes. And it certainly helps to actively make an effort to keep a sense of excitement and enthusiasm. Being positive and believing that awesome things are coming your way can help you create, identify, and act upon the chance opportunities when they present themselves. Springtime is the perfect time to try new things. May you find and spread inspiration everywhere you go.

Self-Advocacy: The Confidence to Ask for What You Want

Having trouble advocating for yourself? Does your incredible work go unrewarded while others who seem to be doing less appear to be getting more of the pie? I have been thinking about this a lot lately, working with many people and observing how asking for things comes very naturally to some while others dread asking for the things they need to thrive at work. Those who dare not ask aren’t less talented nor are they poorer performers; on the contrary, I often find them to be superior performers who diligently attend to details and pursue excellence in delivering on their commitments, and far beyond. I believe it all comes down to self-advocacy: knowing yourself, understanding your needs, and having the confidence to ask for what you want. Modern work life requires self-management, working diligently and efficiently with little supervision. This principle, in an indirect way, may mean that at times hard work and efforts go unnoticed and overlooked.

In my experience, top performers are those who derive satisfaction from the work itself. They always enthusiastically seek out new challenges striving to put quality into everything they do and to drive innovative improvements. With the power to self-manage comes the responsibility to realize potential and maximize growth on the job. One of the most critical career success skills is adopting a confident way of influencing others up and down the proverbial ladder to make things happen. In the modern workplace, we are all always advocating for something – ideas, solutions, approach, actions to be taken, etc. The old saying is very true: “if you don’t ask, you do not receive.” We need to own our advancement and get savvy pitching for greater responsibilities, a promotion, or a raise. And yet for most, asking for things is not a strength and doesn’t come easy.

My grandmother used to say that those who give the best of themselves get the best from others. I've found that this is not always the case. In our crazy busy world of work, most people would rarely do things for others unless they are specifically asked for what is needed from them. Even good managers and leaders may not be very good at getting their teams the resources they need, or advocate for them, and thus, employees need to strategically manage both their work and their careers. It has become incredibly important for employees to ask for the resources, the roles, and the monetary rewards to proactively drive their career development and advancement.

Asking for what we need is a critical leadership skill, but it needs to be preceded by meticulous planning; not the half-hearted attempt kind but rather the full-fledged researched, planned, and executed process. So that when the opportunity presents itself, you are prepared to communicate the request in a confident and positive way. It is important to note that excelling on the job also entails building a powerful professional network on the job. It is critical to surviving organizational changes and restructuring as well as long-term career advancement. When you have clarity as to what you need, start weaving it into business discussions in order to plant the seed and strategically position yourself for the next step. The more conversations you have, the better you prepare the ground for buy-in and achieving your goal.

Marketing oneself with confidence is not easy. It took me a long time to feel confident asking for the roles I knew I was qualified for and the compensation I knew I deserved. Nothing ever was given to me without me asking for it and making the case for it. I truly believe that throughout our careers, we must be our own advocate and speak up when we want to pursue a stretch role, a promotion, or a pay raise. Building self-advocacy and influencing skills takes time and is a dynamic and never-ending process. We must proactively accept the responsibility to drive our own professional growth. There’s no one else whose job is to look out for our own interests. It is your responsibility to figure out where you want to go, what you need to get there, and to ask for it. And always with the understanding that any time you ask for something, the answer might be "no" or that you’d be getting less than what you feel is merited. And when the answer is “no” use the disappointment as fuel to your future success. See When the Answer is “No.”

You can wait and ask the Universe for the things you want, but ultimately, you get what you want when you are ready to ask for it.