Indecision: 4 Steps to Sidestep Fear of Consequences

I am so lucky to have the job that I have - helping clients from all over the world through their career and business decisions. I can never lose sight of the fact that people are counting on me when they face high stakes situations and need to make important career decisions. I’ve found that no matter what the career level or position, making decisions is never easy. Even great leaders and savvy executives suffer from indecision at times. And thus I’ve dedicated the last 5 blog posts to share a decision-making process my clients have found helpful in making tough decisions better and faster.
   
The purpose of the decision-making process is ultimately to achieve certain outcomes, to satisfy a need, or to solve a problem. Step 4 in the process is all about weighing options and considering consequences. A client who’s been offered a promotion involving a relocation emailed me saying: “I’ve been trying to decide whether to accept the offer. I was following your 5-step decision-making guide happily moving along and completing the first 3 steps until I reached step 4. I then got stuck. Now I’m an emotional wreck terrified that I’d be making the wrong decision. What if? What if? What if?”

She hit the nail on the head. Decisions have consequences. The process of decision-making involves recognizing the alternatives that have a higher potential of bringing us closer to our Big Important Goal. But when important decisions with serious consequences are called for it can create a lot of anxiety.

The issue is not fear of moving to another state. The real fear is that of making the “wrong” decision. I’ve written about fear before - see my previous post "Is fear holding you back?". If we listen carefully, fear can pinpoint what is really important to us and uncover our deepest desires and potential obstacles. We can overcome fear and move forward when we look fear in the eye and realize that there are no “wrong” decisions, only learning experiences. Every experience is a lesson. Granted, some are more painful than others. But the most painful experience is living in fear. And nothing hurts like missed opportunities and regret. Every new path leads to both incredible opportunities and some tough challenges, but there are always opportunities to self-correct and change course when you feel the direction is just not right.

We are often scared that things won’t work out and imagine horrible consequences, typically blown way out of proportion. In her TED Talk, Karen Thompson Walker describes fear as an “unintentional storytelling” and advises we should listen to our fears and choose the more likely tale of success:
https://www.ted.com/talks/karen_thompson_walker_what_fear_can_teach_us

Every fork in the road is an opportunity to change something about your life, a step closer to your dreams. But the big old mud puddle is real and might stand between you and the spectacular views up the narrow ridge. This is the time to muster up your courage and the energy to take the leap and elegantly sidestep any mud puddles, deep potholes, or thorny bushes. Channel fear into preparation and action. Here’s how:

1. Write down the opportunity in front of you
2. Write down the consequences that scare you
3. Of the above consequences, write down which is your biggest fear
4. Write down your battle plan to outsmart fear

Ultimately, our goal is to make responsible decisions. When we hear fear barking out marching orders, it’s time to do some serious soul searching. Thinking through consequences is a crucial step when making a decision. But nothing will change without any effort and choiceful actions on our part. Success doesn’t just happen, it needs to be created. It’s a simple law of cause and effect: every outcome (effect) happens for a reason (cause.) In fact, every cause has an effect, and every effect becomes the cause of something new. Everything we do, or avoid doing, has consequences. Once you’ve carefully considered the possible consequences of your decision and identified the best solution to your problem, you should be ready to move on to step 5 of the decision-making process and commit to action.