The Quick Decision-making Guide: A 5-Step Process

In my practice, I help clients make important career decisions. Effective decision-making skills are essential for career success. Yet, while many valuable life skills are taught in high school and college, teaching decision-making skills is often neglected. How many of us can say we’ve been taught decision-making principles and have been given tools and best practices as we were facing difficult life or career decisions?

Decision-making is a thriving area of research, and its concepts can be taught. But effective decision-making, like any other skill, requires active and continuous practice. We need to look at our own decision-making process, get familiar with our bias and fear, and learn from our experience to hone the skills and refine our process. We make hundreds of decisions each day. But when facing high stakes situations, making decisions is never easy. There are three key ingredients to decision-making: choices, possible consequences, and actions.

While there are no hard and fast rules for decision-making, the following 5 steps can provide an effective and timely decision-making process.

Step 1: Self-assessment – when you know something’s got to change and you need to make a decision.

• Key question: What is not working well for me at work or in my life?

Step 2: Set your goal – reflect about the ideal future outcome.

• Key question: How would I like the situation to be?

Step 3: Identify the alternatives – explore your options.

• Key Question: What are my possible choices?

Step 4: Weigh your options – consider the consequences.

• Key Question: What are the likely outcomes of each of the choices?

Step 5: Make a choice – commit to action.

• Key Question: What SPECIFIC actions will I commit to?

Taking action is often the overlooked ingredient for professional and personal growth. If no new action is taken, a decision hasn’t really been made, and no significant change will occur. Progress is impossible without change.

Be sure to check out my next blogs for more on this topic. 

Celebrating a New Year for Trees: What a Tree Can Teach Us

Let us celebrate life, growth, and the beauty of the turning seasons. And let’s remember to keep our heart and mind open to allow good things to come in. As the Chinese proverb goes: “If you keep a green tree in your heart, perhaps the singing bird will come.” The Jewish holiday Tu B’shevat begins today at sundown. It is a holiday that marks the birthday of the trees. To get into the holiday spirit, I’d like to share the poem Advice from a Tree, which is one of my favorite poems. I received it beautifully printed and framed as a gift, and it seems to captures all the advice I’ll ever need as learned from the wisdom of a tree.

Advice from a Tree

Dear Friend,
Stand Tall and Proud
Sink your roots deeply into the Earth
Reflect the light of a greater source
Think long term
Go out on a limb
Remember your place among all living beings
Embrace with joy the changing seasons
For each yields its own abundance
The Energy and Birth of Spring
The Growth and Contentment of Summer
The Wisdom to let go of leaves in the Fall
The Rest and Quiet Renewal of Winter
Feel the wind and the sun
And delight in their presence
Look up at the moon that shines down upon you
And the mystery of the stars at night.
Seek nourishment from the good things in life
Simple pleasures
Earth, fresh air, light
Be content with your natural beauty
Drink plenty of water
Let your limbs sway and dance in the breezes
Be flexible
Remember your roots
Enjoy the view!
~ Ilan Shamir

Let us celebrate life, growth, and the beauty of the turning seasons. And let’s remember to keep our heart and mind open to allow good things to come in. As the Chinese proverb goes: “If you keep a green tree in your heart, perhaps the singing bird will come.” 

Is Fear Holding You Back? 4 Steps to Befriend Your Inner Demons & Take the Leap

What are you seeking to accomplish in your career? What big goals do you wish to achieve? What is holding you back from these professional goals and dreams? Are you stuck tangled up in the clutches of fear? Often, when it comes to chasing our goals, we allow fear to keep us from taking risks and taking the leap. If you were fearless, what would you make happen in your career or in your life?

In all the years I’ve spent helping people set and achieve goals, I have only very rarely encountered a lazy person. Sure, there are times when people get lazy and don’t get things done, but when it comes to BHAGs (Big Hairy Audacious Goals), it is typically fear that’s the root of procrastination and inaction.

Fear is our own inner demon waiting to rear its ugly head and speak to us in a constant inner chatter narrating our deepest shame, guilt, and insecurities as soon as we feel the winds of change around us and at the mere sight of new possibilities. Fear will use any opportunity to claim our attention to alert us to real and perceived threats and dangers. Now, even when the threats are real, fear is a choice, as are hope and optimism.

When we sense a threat, our brain reacts instantly, and we tend to respond in fight, flight, or avoidance mode. When we see a dragon we can run away screaming, decide to slay the dragon and fight it to the bitter end, or freeze into inaction burying our head in the sand. But there is a more constructive way to face our fear – befriend it. Here’s how:

1.    Identify the need

What do you want to achieve, and what is important to you about fulfilling this goal? Is it really a “must have” in your life? What are your success criteria? What would you gain by achieving your goal? What would you need to change? What would you need to give up or lose in order to achieve this goal? Are you willing to pay the price?

2.    Identify the fear

We experience fear when something is important and the stakes are high. Fear focuses our attention on problems, anything and everything that can go wrong. Fear is a great teacher. When we name our fear and recognize our avoidance behaviors, we can use fear as a springboard for action. As Yoda says: “named must your fear be before banish it you can.” Get specific about what you're afraid of. What is holding you back? What choices are you avoiding? What are you not ready to change, yet?

3.    Befriend the fear

Remember that being afraid of things going wrong is the wrong way to make things right. Reframe each fear and re-focus attention on solutions and finding a way to make your dreams come true. Challenges and failure are a part of every success story. Turn your fear into power channeling its energy into positive actions. Embrace fear and turn it into an incredible opportunity to challenge and stretch yourself. Flex your resourcefulness muscles and inspire yourself to grow in new ways; it’s a surefire path to success in all areas of your professional and personal life.

4.    Work with the fear

The path to success is action. Now that you’ve named and befriended your fear, proceed to name the choices that will help you reach your goal. Make your fear work for you in creating a sound action plan. Consider the road blocks and identify the steps that will get you closer to your desired future. Do the work. Hard work is not a guarantee of success. Things will either work out, or they won’t, but on the path to success no effort goes to waste. At the very least, it’s good practice. Success comes in many forms. Sometimes you achieve, but you are always learning something from everything you go through. Don’t give up; you may be closer to your goal than you think.

Befriending fear is not about denying the possibility of failure; rather it is about knowing failure is par for the course and trusting that no matter what, things will get better, that we will come out victorious. To befriend and dance with fear means finding a way to achieve the things we thought we couldn’t do. 

Are you a SMART Leader?

Defining a manager is fairly straightforward: a manager manages a group of tasks or people, and often both. But who is leader?

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader” ~ John Quincy Adams

Leadership has nothing to do with a position, title, seniority, authority or pay grade. It’s all about having a clear sense of purpose and being a positive influence. We all have opportunities to exert positive influence over situations and to change things for the better in ways large and small. Simply stated, leadership is a mindset of wanting to make a difference. In people’s terms it’s about wanting to help others become better and grow, seeing talent and ability in others and bringing it out of them, and encouraging others to excel at what they are doing. You are a leader when you are excited to be a part of another person’s journey.

SMART leaders are those who have realized that leadership is about people, not the bottom line. They have mastered the art of building positive interpersonal relationships at work. They care about people, they prioritize people, and they know how to motivate people. At times they keep ahead of the team leading from the front, at other times, they direct from behind letting the strongest team members push ahead, but they always lead from within, from the heart and in the middle. They bring people together, handle relationships with tact and diplomacy, and hold things together.

Five things SMART leaders do: They

SERVE

In the past decade, the term “servant leader” has come into common use signifying the paradigm shift from authoritarian leadership to a participative leadership. Servant leaders actively solicit participation and input, and they go above and beyond to help and support others. SMART leaders always remember that they are serving those they lead, not the other way around. They encourage others to build a culture in which people set aside self-serving behaviors in favor of serving a common agenda.

To serve others is to always be asking “What can I do for you?”

MOTIVATE

Motivational leadership inspires others to perform at their best by giving them a compelling vision and a sense of purpose. The key is to motivate individuals, to get to know each person and find out what makes them tick. People are more engaged and committed to consistent action when they understand why their work is important and how it fits within the bigger picture.

To motivate others is to always be asking “How can I make your work more meaningful?”

AFFIRM

It is human nature to want recognition, praise, and appreciation. And when people feel that their efforts are appreciated and valued, they are likely to go the extra mile. Affirmation needs to be personal and specific. SMART leaders are good observers noticing everything that’s happening around them and recognizing the little things that make things run smoothly. They acknowledge and recognize those who positively contribute to the team and thus set the standard of which all others should aspire to become.

To affirm others is to always be asking “How can I make you feel like a valuable contributor?”

RESPECT all people

Every person has value. All employees deserve to be treated with dignity and civility at their place of work. Team work is grounded in respect. In a respectful environment people are more likely to work harder to accomplish shared goals they believe in. With years of experience conducting employee engagement surveys, I can confidently say that respectful treatment of all employees is one of the most important factors employees list as contributing to job satisfaction. To show respect means to value a person’s perspective, ideas, feelings, time, and privacy.

To respect others is to ask for their input and listen to what they have to say.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

At the end of the day, leadership is measured by results. Leadership is about taking responsibility for the quality and timeliness of outcomes. SMART leaders take initiative, yet make decisions carefully and responsibly. They create a work environment in which accountability is a standard operating procedure by setting meaningful goals and measurable metrics. But they also know that leadership isn’t about blame. They are quick to pass the credit and recognize the team’s efforts when things go right, and they step up and claim responsibility when things go wrong. They then lead and direct the focus and efforts to moving forward and fixing the problems.

To take responsibility is to always be asking “How can I make things better?”

SMART leaders aspire to make a difference in other people’s lives by using all the resources available to them in every possible way to help them shine their brightest in achieving great things. Step up and take the reigns as a leader at work and in life and become the kind of leader that people would want to follow.

Rough Week at Work? 3 Strategies to End Your Workweek on a Positive Note

From the mouths of clients: “What a horrid week! I am exhausted. I am grouchy. I am worn out. If I died and went straight to hell, it would surely be better than work.”

If this resonates with you, continue reading to rid yourself of any signs of grouchiness and to put yourself in a positive mindset before closing the office door and heading home to start your weekend.

The first step toward change is awareness. If you are like most people, you tend to focus almost exclusively on bad things at work and ignore the good things. It’s called the negativity bias. We pay more attention to bad experiences and dwell more on negative information.

“Our negative experiences stick to us like Velcro, while our positive experiences slide right off us like Teflon.”  ~ Rick Hanson, author of Hardwire Happiness.

Thus, the secret to overcoming negativity is to consciously and proactively shift our attention to things that make us feel good. A positive attitude may not have the power to change bad situations, but it positively increases our mental strength to successfully manage life’s (and work’s) challenges. Here are three strategies to jump-start positive thinking:

1.    Take a “Time-Out”: Engage your mind

A mindful reflection of the high and low points of your week before walking out the office door can allow you to gain perspective and celebrate the things that went well; focus on adding some good things, one at a time to grow your happiness pile.

Extra help: what is the funniest thing that happened to you this week?

2.    Unplug: Engage your body

In a 24/7 culture, many of us can’t entirely disconnect over the weekend. Make sure you have time to unplug and disconnect from the rat race. Shut off your brain work: don’t think about work, don’t obsess about unfinished projects or unresolved issues, and just breathe and be. Do something that will remind you that life is good. Your choice is personal: work out, read, take a relaxing bubble bath, watch a movie, listen to music, spend time with positive people, or anything that’s meaningful to you. Give yourself the gift of “me” time.

Extra help: choose wisely, what activity is most likely to put you in a good mood? Do more of what lights your heart up.

3.    Plug-in: Engage your soul

When all else fails, and bad things happen at work, it’s time to redirect mental energy to find things in your life to be grateful for. Shift your focus and change your mood through positive actions:

• Write down all the things for which you are grateful, that have gone well, or that made you happy in the past week. Writing establishes and sustains the focus on the positive. Positive emotions broaden our sense of new possibilities and open our mind to more choices.
• Lend a helping hand: helping others help us feel better about ourselves; it’s a huge mood booster. Being in a good mood helps decrease stress levels and increase energy levels and motivation to tackle things with a fresh perspective.
• Pay it forward: make it a habit to end your day by sending out at least one gracious “thank you” note or a gratitude email. This will ensure you end off your day in a positive state.

And remember:  no matter how hard things were today, tomorrow is a brand new day, a fresh opportunity for new beginnings, unlimited possibilities, and an abundance of choices.

The Secret to Making Smart Decisions: Less Aggression, More Inclusion!

Having helped many executives through tough business decisions, I have learned that there are no hard and fast rules for decision-making, except one which is usually safe to follow:

“What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow. That is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary”

                ~ Rabbi Hillel the Elder (110 BCE–10 CE) 

In our fast-paced and complex life, it’s often hard to know whether a decision would prove right over time. Embracing the moral principle, the Golden Rule, of treating others as we wish to be treated can guide us in doing what is right even when it may not be easy. When we aim to act with inclusion, tolerance, consideration and compassion, we increase the likelihood of long-term positive outcomes. These values may seem scary in a political and corporate climate where we are often pushed for faster decision-making and increasingly more aggressive outcomes. Nonetheless, it’s hard to go wrong when honoring universal values and following ethical guidelines.

Decades of organizational research indicate that diverse groups make better decisions and are more innovative than homogeneous groups. Moreover, with global competition, leveraging diverse individual expertise and experiences has proven to be a fail-proof way to gain a competitive advantage. Different backgrounds, experiences, interests, viewpoints, and value systems lead to a better consideration of competing solutions and alternative choices resulting in better decision-making and problem solving.

We are complex individuals operating in a complex world. Polarization is mostly outdated, and absolutes are limiting. Complex realities are not easily conveyed in simple messages. Successfully navigating multiple and complex needs, requires the capacity and willingness to consider different perspectives and approaches. There is a business need and a moral obligation to help build bridges and connections among different people and ideas, to continuously evaluate the things we hold true about ourselves and others.

Whether in business or in life, we can achieve more when we stop competing for resources and start to collaborate for optimal outcomes and win/win solutions for the greater good. Unfortunately, decision-making is often about gaining power, defeating opposing positions and destroying the competition. Yet, aggression rarely yields a long term sustainable solution. Aggression begets aggression. Aggressive behavior will destroy a culture. When aggressive, destructive, and dishonest behaviors are allowed, people come to fear and mistrust each other. Aggressive decision-making style serves as a collective blindfold masking real issues and systemic problems.

Aggression is a barrier to rational thinking and smart decision-making. For a society, an organization, and individuals to thrive, we need to practice inclusive, calm, and conscientious problem-solving techniques.

Let us all find constructive ways to live together and come together to solve complex organizational and social problems. Let’s commit to keep an open mind, to explore different views, and to carefully weigh long-term benefits and consequences for all those affected by a decision. Let’s strive to do no harm and treat all others with dignity and respect. Let’s create a sustainable future and work to leave the world a better place for future generations by making decisions right – divided we fall, together we are stronger!